What does it mean to earn something? For years, I longed to return to school and pursue a Master’s Degree in English, but life took unexpected turns. I stumbled into law school, driven by a desire to prove my worth to someone else. Now, as I find myself teaching college classes, I grapple with a profound feeling of melancholy. Did I truly earn this opportunity, or was it merely a result of someone else’s misfortune?
Navigating life’s challenges is tough, especially when the path forward seems blocked by external factors. Despite facing soul-crushing jobs and a toxic past relationship, I’m determined to chase my dreams of becoming a screenwriter. The journey is hard, but the potential reward is immense.
It’s a terrible feeling, not belonging anywhere, only being tolerated for conforming to the expectations of others. My journey to authenticity has been a struggle, especially raising privileged children while confronting my own past of poverty and suppression. Yet for all that I currently feel hopeless, I am working harder than ever to bring the me that lives inside my head to life.
Forty was a devastating year. Betrayal, loss, and disillusionment consumed me. Now, at forty-one, I face an uncertain future, but I write for my children, hoping to inspire the young to fight for a better world to prevent the incipient apocalypse.